Ive done it now. Really done it.
Ive got to think up a good excuse before the big brown UPS
truck rolls around within seven business days.
Theyre called Doggles. I guess thats a combination
of dog and goggles. Were talking sunglasses
for a dog.
Look! I'd coaxed my husband to the computer when he
got home from work. Isnt this the cutest thing youve
ever seen? I pulled up the website of drsfostersmith.comproducts
for pets selected by veterinariansand showed him a picture
of a yellow puppy in big, red sunglasses.
FUN & FUNCTIONAL! TOTAL PROTECTION AGAINST UV, WIND, WATER,
& DEBRIS! WIDER NOSE BRIDGE, DEEPER LENS CUP, & STURDIER
FRAMES THAN OTHER BRANDS!
Why, of course, our cocker spaniel had to have a pair!
You didnt. Tell me you didnt. Please tell me
you didnt order those.
We-e-ell, um, its for medical reasons. After
all, shed had that bout with a Bells palsy-like condition
and couldnt quite close her right eye anymore. Its
real hard on her when she rides in the car and the sun shines
in her eyes.
DOGGLES® ARE THE ORIGINAL PROTECTIVE CANINE EYEWEAR. COMFORTABLE
AND STYLISH, THEY'RE PERFECT FOR HUNTING AND WORKING DOGS, POST-EYE
SURGERY, LIGHT SENSITIVITY, OR CAR TRIPS.
Charlie says Im on everybodys Sucker List for Dogs.
I dont disagree. You should see the stuff I get in the maileverything
from vet school wellness newsletters to pet catalogs that sell
little coffins lined in white satin! Some things I just cant
Lets face it. Chaeli is spoiled rotten. That little dogs
got everything. Shes got balls that bounce and flash, Buster
Cubes that roll and release treats, Giggly Balls that make goofy
noises. Furry pink teddy bears that play lullabies, fuzzy stuffed
animals that make silly soundsbunnies, puppies, and lions,
Shes got chenille sweaters, suede coats, and a UT jersey
with her name on the back. Shes got matching collars and
leashes galorepink and white polka dot, green with pink
flowers, red, purple, and pink. She has ruffs and bows and scarves
and snoods and charms. She wears patterned visors, a red plaid
Scottish tam, and a pink feather boa. Shes got pink baby
blankets with her name monogrammed on them. She even has her own
soft, cuddly Puppy Purse with treats in a zipper pouch.
Why, shes such a modern girl that she has her own Web Page!
But Charlie has drawn the line on a couple of things.
A stroller. Yeah, I wanted a doggie stroller real bad. Doctors
Foster & Smith offer a Pet Stroller for $139.99 and an SUV
Pet Stroller for $189.99. Mesh, green cage-like carriers on wheels.
EACH RUST-RESISTANT, METAL-FRAMED STROLLER FEATURES REAR SAFETY
BRAKE, REMOVABLE CARRIER ENCLOSURE, AND WATER-RESISTANT FABRIC.
SUV STROLLER IS 30% LARGER AND IDEAL FOR FOREST TRAILS, SANDY
AREAS, OR GRASSY PARKS.
Oh, for Gods sake, dont buy her a stroller,
But we can all go to Gatlinburg and stroll up and down the
streets and shop.
No, no, no-o-o, he groaned.
If I get a stroller anyway, will you walk with us? Ill
even let you push.
Ill walk 20 paces behind and pretend I dont
Then there was that faux mink coat. THIS PRACTICAL WARMER FOR
SMALLER BREED AND SHORT HAIR DOGS ALSO STANDS OUT AS A FASHION
STATEMENT - IT'S A FAUX-FUR COLLAR AND CAPE WORTHY FOR WEARING
TO ANY "BEST OF BREED" CEREMONIES AT WESTMINSTER. ELEGANT
MINK-BROWN FUR WILL MAKE YOUR DOG THE CENTER OF ATTENTION WHILE
ALSO HELPING HER RETAIN MORE BODY HEAT ON THOSE COLDER DAYS. Its
the ultimate! Of course, Chaeli needs one.
Awww. Charlie can curl up his lip like Elvis. Puh-leeze.
Dont buy that. Just let her be a dog.
Shell be a cold dog.
Well turn up the heat, and shell be a hot dog.
Practical. Hes way too practical.
Yet, I happen to know he really gets a kick out of this wacky
stuff, even though hed never admit it. On a recent foggy
and drizzly day, I dressed Chaeli in her yellow slicker hooded
raincoat, slipped on a matching one myself, then set out to walk
around the block.
Yall goin like that?
Sure are. Wanna go?
He grinned and shook his head, watched us walk away, and waited
for our return.
Anybody see you?
Oh yeah! Lots of people. They pointed and laughed.
He grinned bigger.
Back to the Doggles. I got the chrome ones. With smoke-colored,
shatterproof polycarbonate lenses that have an anti-fog coating.
I can just see us nowdriving down the street with the sunroof
open, Chaeli in the passenger seat buckled in her seat belt harness,
sitting up straight and tall, wearing her stylish chrome sunglasses.
Aint it a hoot?
Anyway, those glassesll be here in a few days. I ordered
them before he drew the line. Ill just slip them in her
Designer Doggy Bag with her Sharables Me and My Pal purified water
bottle, teal and pink paisley visor, hairbrush, and herbal deodorizing
Medical reasons. Yep, sounds good.
is a product of Midknight Creations, LLC / Doggles (Great product!
And they really stay on!)
Rhodes is editor of Muscadine Lines: A Southern Journal.